How do you Change a Mindset From Fixed to Growth
How a Fixed Mindset Can Hold you Back
As you probably know there are 2 different types of mindset – Growth Mindset and Fixed Mindset.
If you adopt a growth mindset you will radically change your life for the better, whereas a fixed mindset will keep you stuck where you are or worse, move you backwards.
A real story of how someone else’s mindset can affect yours
Be aware that it is how you deal with the information that your mind takes on board that determines which road you travel. As we grow up, and way before we are aware of such life-changing elements of life, we can be affected by those around us. Our daughter was told at primary (elementary) school that she was middle of the road at best and we were told not to expect great things from her! How despicable is that? For a teacher, who is supposed to be inspiring children, to dash the hopes and aspirations of a child is a disgrace.
Thankfully, she has us as parents and we set to work on her mindset to ensure that what she had been told would not happen. But this shows you how an outside influence can have a detrimental effect on your life if you are not aware. She would have been blissfully unaware that she was anything other than a failure. After all, the person telling her was a teacher, a person in authority!
Fast forward 11 years and she is just about to turn 21 and also in the last year of her university degree course and has done really well throughout it. What career is she training for I hear you ask? She wants to be a teacher! In her work experience that she has done during her course she has had reports that she is inspirational to the children. Who knows, maybe part of that is down to the awful advice she was told back when she was 10?!
When you come across obstacles you have 2 choices…
- Choice 1: You can allow yourself to get knocked down by issues, become frustrated, and start to look for someone else to blame. Maybe even blame yourself and then give up!
- Choice 2: You realise that life has set you a challenge that needs to be overcome, and you get to work on it. Even if it takes 3 times as long as expected, you persist, because you have an underlying belief that you can become better and can learn from it.
Here are 3 ways to tell how a Fixed Mindset can hold you back:
Number 1: You want everything to stay the same
Wouldn’t it be easier if things didn’t change for a while?
Imagine if your job was easy and for an easier life you were to stay doing it for the next 10 years?
Or what if you stayed in your loveless marriage just because you couldn’t be bothered to find real love?
Maybe you have got used to just making ends meet despite there being too much month and not enough money?
The list goes on.
The fact is, though, that change is inevitable. It happens slowly most of the time, but occasionally there is a big change that occurs relatively quickly.
When you were born it was so that you could have a happy life full of great things. The Universe wants you to be happy and fulfilled. So, sometimes, if you are not doing anything to move yourself towards a better life, things will happen to force your hand!
Whatever the change is, those who embrace change as an opportunity for learning and growth they are the people who succeed the most.
So if this is you, I recommend saying this to yourself often:
- I embrace change and love learning how to take advantage of new opportunities.
- Possibilities are everywhere
Of course this does NOT mean you should jump in on every new shiny object that comes in your path.
It just means that if some change comes into your path that is clearly a long-term one, then it’s time to embrace it and look for the silver lining.
Number 2: You are too hard on yourself
Whether you compare yourself to others too much, or whether you think you should make less mistakes and find things easier…
…It’s easy to get into this trap.
What’s really key though is to focus more on improvement from where you are at, than to compare yourself to other people.
And it’s also really important to be humble and accept where you are truly at, rather than what ‘should be’.
If things aren’t going right, it’s not time to chastise yourself.
It’s time to have a look at where you’d like to improve, and then get to work on improving it.
If someone else is doing better than you, then use them as inspiration, not someone to be jealous of.
What is it about what they are doing that you wished you were doing? Maybe you can model yourself on them or what they do?
Don’t just look at their results, but look at their methods… Is there a method of theirs that you can borrow and learn from?
Weaknesses are simply points of opportunity for improvement. An old boss of mine once said “We don’t have problems, we have opportunities!” And he was so on the money!
And it’s really important to spend more time feeling grateful for your own strengths than to curse yourself for your weaknesses.
We actually have a great post on gratitude which you may enjoy.
Number 3: Your expectations are for things to happen too fast
I find that most people’s expectations are either too fast or too slow.
Those who succeed the most in life, tend to be those in the 2nd camp. Those that have the best mindset.
They think it’ll take longer than it actually does. Success takes time!
Too many people expect things to happen so fast that they’re desperate if they don’t see results within a short period of time.
It’s important to realise that whatever goal you are reaching towards it’s likely that you’ll take imperfect action.
Yes, you’ll take action, but there will be mistakes along the way.
Things may take time, but most people who do well take several months and that’s OK.
ENJOY the journey you are on…
Just as much as the destination that you reach at the end. That is true with life in general.
If you enjoy the little bits along the way, good and bad, you’ll never get off the road.
And if you’re always on the road, you will reach the destination, sooner or later.
Keep taking action with what you learn in life.
Be kind to yourself, be patient and embrace all learning that comes along the way.
The saying “every day is a school day” is so very true. The day we stop learning is the day we die! Make sure that you take something from each day’s learning and use it to good effect tomorrow.
If you want to get somewhere in life – your own business, more money, a better relationship, better health etc – you have to learn from the lessons that you have learned so far. Don’t just settle for mediocre, strive for excellence. So hopefully now you can see how a fixed mindset can hold you back in life! What are going to do differently?